Bold & Bella

I want to be a writer. A real, published, pay-my-bills-with-my-words author of articles, books, you name it. It hit me about 4 years ago that this thing that I've always done could actually be a career. (Yes, I know that there are plenty of people who have real, professional writing careers, but it had never occurred to me that I could actually be one of them). So here I am, 4 years after this epiphany...and I'm still not a professional. Instead, I've stopped and started multiple projects and questioned my abilities each time. At the start of this year, I told myself that I'd have to do things differently if I wanted to take my work to the next level. If I want to be taken seriously, I have to be serious.  What I'm sharing below is a literal page out of my journal from a day when I was struggling with inspiration: 14 - June - 2020 There are days when I wake up inspired. I could crank out 2 new blog posts, and 1,000 new words for my manuscript with no p...

If you're an acne sufferer like me, you've likely heard many different opinions about what causes this pimple-formed version of hell on your face. Personally, I've only recently started believing that the way I eat has something to do with it, but all of the experts said that was a lie. I've seen three different dermatologists now, all of whom have said that diet is not an important enough factor to make major changes.  Well, they were wrong.  **Backstory: I do some copywriting for an online company that connects freelance writers with clients looking for articles, blog posts, website content, etc. One of the clients that I work with the most happens to be a dermatology clinic, and they recently requested an article about this topic so it's all fresh in my mind** There was a study done recently that linked dairy, chocolate and fatty/sugary foods to the cause of acne (insert jaw-dropped face here).  WHAT?  So, basically, if you're a milk choc...

"Be strict about your goal, but flexible in how you get there." So you've decided to change your life. You are finally going to lose the weight, write the book, go back to school...or maybe your goal is to start by simply being showing up on time to things (I believe this is called punctuality...I'm actively working on this, myself). I'm sure you don't need a vocabulary lesson, but just for clarity's sake, I want to make sure you understand what the title of this post is referring to. Any time you are actively working on yourself, it's considered personal development. Your decision live a healthier lifestyle? Personal Development. Your newfound commitment to no longer be the person everyone expects to be late? Personal Development. This decision to do better for yourself is amazing. You should be proud that you even care enough to want to reach your full potential. That is an admirable thing. The problem, though, is that so many people try to e...

When the shutdown first happened, I saw post after post from hair stylists urging women NOT to cut their own hair...so naturally I did the opposite of that. Let me give you a little backstory...  At the start of Spring Break, I was already due for a trim. I cancelled my appointment because I was feeling lazy and figured I'd just reschedule. Little did I know that rescheduling wouldn't be an option...and that I'd run out of all of my styling products and not be able to find them A-NY-WHERE!  I don't know how much y'all know about type 3B curls but they do not behave when they aren't tamed by a generous (read: massive) amount of products. So I committed the deadliest Curly Girl sin...I straightened my hair...for two weeks straight. Y'all...the damage that resulted made me want to cry. (I should insert a side note here that my relationship with my hair, like many women with textured locks, has been a complicated roller coaster. I've invested YEARS i...

"I just don't have the time."  That is the number one sentence I hear right after someone tells me about a goal of theirs. I would lose weight but... I want to go back to school but... I want to hang out more with my kids but... Friends, anyone who knows me knows that I'm the friend you turn to when you're ready to hear the truth. I won't sugarcoat it, and I won't concern myself too much with your feelings, because being straightforward is a much better use of both of our time. So here we go... "I just don't have the time" is an excuse. You tell that to yourself to justify why you haven't even attempted going after this thing you want. As a matter of fact, you repeat it so much, internally and out loud, that you have really convinced yourself that this thing they call "time" is truly not a thing you possess. But...aren't there 24 hours in your day? The same 24 hours that are in my day, in Oprah's day, in J....

Anyone else a sucker for Social Media ads? I'd like to start this by saying that I stood firm for a solid two years (record-breaking, really. My Instagram feed was FULL of women clad in Fabletics leggings, and there was even a girl I was following on Snapchat who was pretty much an unpaid spokeswoman for the brand. It was everywhere. But I like to spend my money on things like food and hair products (have I ever mentioned that I'm a product junkie?) so I told myself that I would NOT be buying into this brand because I didn't want to commit to yet another subscription. (As  side note, y'all should know that I have a Stitch Fix, Adore Me, AND FabFitFun subscription...it's bad). Well, obviously I wouldn't be writing this post if I'd stuck to my guns, right? So as you have probably guessed by now, I caved. Honestly, it was my husband's fault, because he kept talking smack about how I'd had the same workout clothes for years and that it was time f...

We all have a person in our lives that makes us want to do better. It could be a family member, significant other, a friend...this person sparks something inside of you that makes you think you should be acting differently. Over the years, I have noticed that people act differently around me. My friends order less fries (or substitute them altogether) at lunch, or someone who's put on some weight feels compelled to explain their plight to me without prompting. I don't ask, people just tell.I'm not even the most FIT person out there. I guess I just have a reputation of taking care of myself (which I am super proud of, TBH). To me it seems like people feel compelled to share because they want to do better, maybe even want my help, but can't commit. It works the other way too, by the way. People who DO ask for my help but fall off the wagon will literally avoid me. Cut. Me. Off. Ghosted, as the cool kids would say. It's not my favorite thing, but I get it. Some p...

The longer I live, the more invested I become in taking care of myself. I can honestly say that I feel a hundred times better now, in my 30s, than I ever did in my 20s, and it's because I started investing more in my self-care. I started reading labels (no, not the name brand kind, the food kind) around my 25th birthday, when my eczema and hypertension decided to make their glorious, highly inconvenient and highly uncomfortable appearance in my life. I watched everything from what I ate to what I put on my skin, but didn't give much thought to what was in my beauty products (yes, I know that goes on your skin too. I don't make sense!) Let me give you a little backstory... A few months before my 31st birthday, I went to the dermatologist to finally do something drastic about my acne. Almost 2 months and several hundred dollars later, my face looked worse than it ever had before AND I was in pain. I read about women turning to vegan diets and beauty products to cure the...

"Most women, regardless of where they grew up or what their cultural background is, have been taught essentially that to be a good woman is to be good for other people." That is a direct quote from Rachel Hollis' book, Girl, Stop Apologizing. The first part of the book is dedicated to exploring the excuses that women use for not pursing their dreams or living their authentic lives. In the very first chapter, she addresses the excuse that speaks to me the most: "It's not What Other Women Do." What does this mean?  It means that we hold ourselves back from doing and saying the things that we truly want to do and say because it's just not what we're "supposed" to do. I could go on and on about the expectations placed on women in our world, but the POINT is that those expectations have a tendency to shape the way we THINK, and our thoughts are what drive our words and actions...so those are pretty important. The issue is that we have ...

I haven't always been a curly girl. From ages 6-19, I was all about #teamcream and would get my hair permed every 4-6 months. Seeing some bald spots around my hairline in my sophomore year of college was all I needed to start letting my natural hair grow out, but I would still straighten it into submission on a weekly (*ahem* daily *ahem*) basis. Finally, 6 years ago, I jumped on the Big Chop bandwagon and cut off most of my hair (we're talking high-pony-tail-and-scissors-DIY-style hair cut...not my finest moment). The whole point of embracing my natural hair was to make my life easier, but I had no idea that the learning curve for this new way of doing things was the size of Mount Everest. The most challenging part? The vocabulary!  By the time I jumped onto #teamnatural, there were already some YouTubers and some books about curly hair, but they were pretty hard to follow because I had no idea what they were talking about. Every other word was one that I'd never h...

So many people are living unsatisfied. They wake up, they go to work, they pay their bills, but there's something missing. Most of us need a reason to get up in the morning. Not just any reason, but one that compels us to get up and get going. A purpose. So many people are frustrated because they haven't found their purpose, and they will keep going around in circles until they realize a fundamental truth. See, your life's purpose isn't something that you figure out. That implies that you're just supposed to stumble upon it, or that the heavens will open up one day and you'll be able to look up and see exactly what you're supposed to be doing with your life. That sounds amazing, but it's made for movies, not for real life. You get to CHOOSE how you want to live.  What's going to get you out of bed every morning? What excites and motivates you? What do you WANT your life to stand for? Choose that thing and then live to fulfill it on purpose. Then...

DevaCurl was my go-to holy grail for curly hair. I read The Curly Girl Method, bought all of the products, and followed the directions to the T to develop my curls into beautiful, defined little ringlets. Any time someone asked me how I took care of my curls, I would strongly suggest investing in this brand and gush about how it was worth every single penny. SO, needless to say, I found myself in quite the pickle after the whole scandal that happened back in January (February?...definitely earlier this year. Honestly, 2020 has been so long that it feels like all of this happened years ago but ANYWAY).  Fortunately, I'd experimented for years with different products and routines (shout out to my fellow product junkies!) I was trying to find alternatives to DevaCurl's prices, and I finally understood that I have to switch things up every now and then, as any die hard Curly Girl knows. I knew I could use lines like Kinky Curly and Not Your Mother's Curl Talk, but I was...

Your affirmations are either working for your or against you, depending on how you use them.  I read this quote in a book that I've been meaning to read for years but just barely got around to, The Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod. When I first read it, my immediate thought was: All. The. Yessess!!! ...or something along those lines. There's such a surprisingly negative connotation to the word, "affirmations," as if the only people that use them are weirdos who like to talk to themselves, or hippies. To be clear, though, anything you say out loud about yourself (or repeat constantly in your mind) is an affirmation. You repeat it enough times and it will become part of your subconscious, and ultimately impact your level of success in life. (Yes, I am aware of the hippie-ness of what I just said, but stay with me). If that sounds odd to you, let's add some perspective. How many healthy, successful people do you hear saying things like, "I'm so br...

Let me tell you a story... Several years ago (I think I was actually pregnant with my firstborn, and he's 8 now) I went to get the brakes checked on my mom's car. I'm an extremely chatty and friendly person, and so I'm talking to the guy who's helping me and he's telling me about how he changed his entire life by juicing. He'd watched a documentary, decided to change his life, bought a juicer, and there he was, standing in front of me, a full 80 lbs lighter than when he'd started "just eight months ago!" Fascinated, I listened intently, looked at his before and after pictures, and when he asked me if I'd like to try some of the juice that he just happened to have in the employee break room, I said, "Of course I would!" I followed him to the refrigerator took the cup he handed me with a little bit of this orange liquid and despite the fact that my mama taught me better than to take strange drinks from literal strangers, I t...

Let me tell you a story... When I was 11 years old, my mom came home from the store, burst into my bedroom and, with the widest smile on her face, told me, "I have a surprise for you!" I can't remember what I was holding, but I dropped it, stood up and ran to where she stood, asking what it was and when I could see it. Beaming, she told me that it was something I'd wanted my whole life, and then told me to shut my eyes. "Open them," she said. When I did, she had her hand extended out toward me, holding a tiny book with orange, purple, and pink blocks, and a mirror shaped like a heart on the cover. "It's a diary!" she exclaimed, turning it over so that I could see the lock on the side and handing me two, tiny keys.  Excited, but confused, I asked her what I'm supposed to do with it. "You can write anything you want in there, and then you lock it so that nobody else can read it."  "Like secrets?" I asked. ...