Bold & Bella

"Be strict about your goal, but flexible in how you get there." So you've decided to change your life. You are finally going to lose the weight, write the book, go back to school...or maybe your goal is to start by simply being showing up on time to things (I believe this is called punctuality...I'm actively working on this, myself). I'm sure you don't need a vocabulary lesson, but just for clarity's sake, I want to make sure you understand what the title of this post is referring to. Any time you are actively working on yourself, it's considered personal development. Your decision live a healthier lifestyle? Personal Development. Your newfound commitment to no longer be the person everyone expects to be late? Personal Development. This decision to do better for yourself is amazing. You should be proud that you even care enough to want to reach your full potential. That is an admirable thing. The problem, though, is that so many people try to e...

"I just don't have the time."  That is the number one sentence I hear right after someone tells me about a goal of theirs. I would lose weight but... I want to go back to school but... I want to hang out more with my kids but... Friends, anyone who knows me knows that I'm the friend you turn to when you're ready to hear the truth. I won't sugarcoat it, and I won't concern myself too much with your feelings, because being straightforward is a much better use of both of our time. So here we go... "I just don't have the time" is an excuse. You tell that to yourself to justify why you haven't even attempted going after this thing you want. As a matter of fact, you repeat it so much, internally and out loud, that you have really convinced yourself that this thing they call "time" is truly not a thing you possess. But...aren't there 24 hours in your day? The same 24 hours that are in my day, in Oprah's day, in J....

We all have a person in our lives that makes us want to do better. It could be a family member, significant other, a friend...this person sparks something inside of you that makes you think you should be acting differently. Over the years, I have noticed that people act differently around me. My friends order less fries (or substitute them altogether) at lunch, or someone who's put on some weight feels compelled to explain their plight to me without prompting. I don't ask, people just tell.I'm not even the most FIT person out there. I guess I just have a reputation of taking care of myself (which I am super proud of, TBH). To me it seems like people feel compelled to share because they want to do better, maybe even want my help, but can't commit. It works the other way too, by the way. People who DO ask for my help but fall off the wagon will literally avoid me. Cut. Me. Off. Ghosted, as the cool kids would say. It's not my favorite thing, but I get it. Some p...

So many people are living unsatisfied. They wake up, they go to work, they pay their bills, but there's something missing. Most of us need a reason to get up in the morning. Not just any reason, but one that compels us to get up and get going. A purpose. So many people are frustrated because they haven't found their purpose, and they will keep going around in circles until they realize a fundamental truth. See, your life's purpose isn't something that you figure out. That implies that you're just supposed to stumble upon it, or that the heavens will open up one day and you'll be able to look up and see exactly what you're supposed to be doing with your life. That sounds amazing, but it's made for movies, not for real life. You get to CHOOSE how you want to live.  What's going to get you out of bed every morning? What excites and motivates you? What do you WANT your life to stand for? Choose that thing and then live to fulfill it on purpose. Then...

Your affirmations are either working for your or against you, depending on how you use them.  I read this quote in a book that I've been meaning to read for years but just barely got around to, The Miracle Morning, by Hal Elrod. When I first read it, my immediate thought was: All. The. Yessess!!! ...or something along those lines. There's such a surprisingly negative connotation to the word, "affirmations," as if the only people that use them are weirdos who like to talk to themselves, or hippies. To be clear, though, anything you say out loud about yourself (or repeat constantly in your mind) is an affirmation. You repeat it enough times and it will become part of your subconscious, and ultimately impact your level of success in life. (Yes, I am aware of the hippie-ness of what I just said, but stay with me). If that sounds odd to you, let's add some perspective. How many healthy, successful people do you hear saying things like, "I'm so br...

Practice makes perfect. That's how the saying goes, right? Time and time again, from a very young age, we are told that if we just put in enough work, we will eventually achieve perfection. Well, excuse my language, but that's a bunch of bullsh*t. Perfection is, first of all, not a real thing, and second of all, not the actual goal. We shouldn't ever aim to be perfect, but to be a better version of ourselves today than we were yesterday. When you're starting something new, it's easy to talk yourself out of giving it a real shot because, well, you're not perfect. All the other people who do this thing are amazing at it and you, quite frankly, suck, so why even bother? The answer is simple: The only way to get better at something is to keep doing it.  Annoying, I know. Nobody likes doing something that they're not good at. It's highly tempting, and far more satisfying, to stay away from this new thing and stick to what you're good at. Then yo...

"Action is the fastest and most direct route to clarity."   -Marie Forleo, Everything is Figureoutable  Most books and articles on career and business-building advise people seeking success to focus on a "niche," a specialty that will set you apart from your competitors. Basically, to be successful, you have to narrow your brand and be the person that people think of when they think (insert industry, craft or trade here). This has always been somewhat of a challenge for me because I have never wanted to do just one thing, nor do I believe that I am only talented and suited for one particular field. I want to do it all, and I truly believe that I can do it well. Of course, like most people, I tried to focus. When I was little and people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I'd spout off whatever idea had popped into my head that day... a ballerina, a lawyer, a teacher, a singer, a model! I figured that one day I'd grow up and just know...

There are people in the world who are perfectly content doing the same thing day in and day out. These individuals thrive off of their routines and are happiest in their comfort zone...I am not one of those people. When it comes to the people I love, I am highly committed and loyal. My RODs (Ride or Dies) have been with me since high school, and even my husband and I have been together since I was 17. But when it comes to my career, I'm all over the place. By the age of 25 I'd already had 15 different jobs, and I didn't start working until I was 16. It's not that I am afraid to commit, it's more that I have got a serious case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out...I know I just saved 30% of you from having to Google it...you're welcome!). There are SO many things that I want to do with my life that I dabble in a little of everything. The problem with that is that it's easy to take on too much, get burned out, and quit altogether. At one point a couple of years a...