Playing the Comparison Game

Marie Forleo must be my spirit animal because reading her book, Everything is Figureoutable, has felt a lot like reading my own diary. Her emphasis on walking your own path and honoring your own journey, rather than trying to squeeze yourself into the box of expectations put on you by society, social media and your mother, is so similar to my own way of living.

Of course, I'd be lying to you if I told you that I've always been this way. It's almost impossible to avoid that phase when you are trying so very hard to be what you think you are expected to be.

For me, it was right after college. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, including getting married, graduating and having a baby, all in that order. Even though I'd already accomplished more than my own parents at that age, I still felt like there was something I wasn't doing right. Most of you know that feeling, the deadline that screams "You should've accomplished X, Y, and Z by now and you've only got X halfway on lock!" It's a deadline that makes you feel like a complete failure and compels you to question your very existence. (I lovingly refer to this time in my journey as my Quarter-Life-Crisis).

Where this pressure comes from is unique to each person. It could be your friends, your family, or even your culture. But what if we just remove it? What if we got rid of it altogether? If you have no one and nothing to compare yourself to, would you still see the things you don't have, or would you see only the journey you've traveled so far?

I know the comparison game is almost impossible to avoid. It's what had me wrapped up in my own pressure-filled existence during my QLC. We've been comparing ourselves since we were kids and would see toys that we wanted in the hands of other little people and immediately fall apart in an attempt to make our parents level the playing field and buy us our own. But it is a learned behavior, which means we can unlearn it and instead adopt a new one - acceptance.

Embrace the fact that you are the only human being on the planet who is exactly like you. No one else has your same features, your mirrored sense of humor, your goals and ambitions. Sure, there are people who have some of these, but only you have everything that is unique to you wrapped up in one person.

If there is no one in the world exactly like you, then what could you possibly have to compare yourself to? Once you wrap your mind around it, you'll be able to ignore the standards that were set for you, and instead live freely by your own.